Always irreverent, but the truth in today’s world also must be so…at least according to the progressive, liberal fascist anti-free press brigade.
Over the last half-century, enormous efforts have been expended by individuals to get their groups, such as blacks, women, Jews, homosexuals, and Hispanics, certified as authentic victims of society. Just since 2013, the “transgendered” have achieved cultural validation as designated victims, while other potential identity politics groups, such as left-handers and the working class, seem to be fading ever further from the limelight of concern.
But what about nerds? Will they be able to use the enormous wealth and cultural influence they’ve created over the last few decades to achieve recognized protected status? Or will they be increasingly demonized as “hyperwhite”?
There are numerous advantages to being sacralized as an official class of victims, such as quotas benefiting lucky individuals (for example, the president of the United States). For those who don’t get jobs as community organizers and activists, however, it’s not completely clear that being constantly reassured by the media that your problems are the fault of cisgendered straight white males is objectively good for you.
For instance, after six years of the Eric Holder Justice Department, blacks continue to screw up at much higher rates than other groups. The government and the media react to this undeniable pattern of blacks behaving badly not just by denying it, but also by propagating blood libels about demonic whites hunting down innocent black children like Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown. Not surprisingly, blood libels lead to pogroms.
The only thing worse than a man is a white man, am I right? They start off as violent little bastards, biting Pop-Tarts into guns, and before you know it, they’re raping their way through college. The very privileged end up running corporations that pay women 77 cents for every dollar a man makes, and the less fortunate end up as cops who shoot black men in the head just because.
As our white male college professors told us, “The white man” is the “greatest trouble-maker on earth.” White male culture is Western culture and both are drenched in racism and sexism. The only hope for redemption is annihilation. Anything would be better. As social media nutbar Suey Parkput it, “Whiteness will always be the enemy.” This narrative has been plowing forward like the train in Snowpiercer since the 1960s, but it appears 2014 was the year the wheels finally came off.
At first glance, the UVA rape story was perfect. Not only did it involve preppy white kids gang raping women, but these frat boys were so incredibly popular, nobody would dare speak out. Being raped sucks but not being invited to a party is way worse. The Duke Lacrosse case had all the same characteristics but uh, those guys weren’t blond enough. Besides, provingJackie’s story meant Tawana Brawley would look like the exception, not the rule.